Last week we passed along a message sent to us from the Springfield metalcore wrestling band Scott Blacula. In that message, which you can see here, Scott Blacula expressed their disgust in Black Sheep as a venue among a few other things. They also talked about their show last Wednesday possibly being their last. Today we are bringing you an official statement not from The Pukester, but THE Mr. Scott Blacula himself.

My empire has gone through its share of ups and downs, but over the last year, an endeavor to spread my greatness across the universe has degenerated into crass insults and barbaric displays of rage and ignorance. When I brought the original four jobbers of the IGWF(Inter-Galactic Wrestling Federation) together to form Scott Blacula, I had nothing but the full intentions of this band to speak of my praises, and hopefully become something more substantial than they could have as professional wrestlers. Instead, they continued to dwell on their miserable failure of a past, speaking of nothing other than wrestling. In fact, not a single song written was about me. One song was even focused on someone who was obsessed with a TV Show in which MY GLORY-HOGGING COUNTERPART starred.

I let all of this slide until it became apparent that these fools only cared about their own goals, one of which being to slander my good name after everything I have given them. The Pukester may have taken it upon himself to disband the quartet, but nothing is official until I say so. Matters have gotten too far out of hand, and it is with great pleasure, and miniscule regret, that I hereby fold the band of Scott Blacula. The Pukester, The Undertoker, Jack Swaggerty, and CM Drunk, or Nick Foley, or…whatever the hell he calls himself these days will no longer work under my employ, as I have chosen to end this empire before these peons can do any more damage. The IGWF will be no more, and the members of Scott Blacula will be banished from the cosmos, forced to live menial, unrewarding lives on the stinking heap of trash that is Planet Earth.

Goodbye forever, people of this abhorrent planet. Never forget the majestic name of Scott Blacula, and all that I represented.

-Mr. Scott Blacula

We are not entirely sure how this works out, but we think that it is safe to say that the local metalcore band Scott Blacula is no more. Congratulations Springfield! We have defeated Scott Blacula once and for all!

Scott Blacula did have one more match scheduled before they were ultimately defeated. That was to be against Smoke Coke at The End Is Here Fest on November 9th. Does this mean Smoke Coke automatically wins the match, or will there be some other band to take Scott Blacula’s place to battle it out with them?